This week was a doozie. By Friday afternoon I was exhausted, unmotivated, and more than a little depressed. My husband came home to find me sprawled on the bed still in my work clothes and shoes, moaning something like, “Can we please eat out?” I end each year tired, but it’s never been this bad. I have so much work left to do, but no energy to do it. As I explained to Tim, all the fun, energizing, motivating parts of my job are gone now. I’m not diving into the complex themes of Hamlet or puzzling with my kids over the symbolism of water in Huck Finn. I’m left with drill and review for finals, writing exams, cleaning my classroom, grading, and entering grades. Yuck, yuck, and more yuck.
However, all of that is no different from the end of any other school year. Every other year, I’ve been tired, restless, ready to start the summer. But this year, for the first time, I’ve experienced hard-core, bona fide, no-kidding burn out. It probably had something to do with being close to this year’s graduating class of seniors and being sad to see them go. It probably had to do with teaching four brand new classes this year. It probably had to do with 2 years of difficult work on ECA’s Association of Christian Schools International accreditation (we were accredited at the end of April). It probably had to do with commuting to Pueblo and attending grad school this past semester on top of teaching full time. It probably had to do with spending all year planning a huge mission trip and study tour of France and Italy (leaving in 11 days). Whatever the reason, while I’m desperately trying to move forward with the things I still have to do, my alter ego has plopped down like a whiny, petulant child on the sidewalk and refused to move.
I’ve dealt with weariness, anxiety, feelings of being overwhelmed, but never with total burnout. Nothing like this. I really don’t know what to do except pray and soldier on as best I can. Any advice?